I get your point and I know about proper presentation, but that wasn't my intent for this thread. I know these comics are pretty bad and I'm trying to get more insight into why it is as bad as it is and what aspects of it do work. If I was just posting these in a "look at the cool stuff I made" manner, I would have gone about it quite differently.
And as for Funderbunk a good rule of thumb I think is:
If you don't laugh... like actually laugh out loud when you think it up, or say it outloud, it's not very funny. If you don't even chuckle, it's not funny at all.
If you can't make yourself laugh, you got a tough way to go, insofar as making other people laugh. The difference between you and other people as far as joke go is that you already care. They don't.
I remember laughing at these things as ideas I threw out to my bounce-ideas-off-guy, but probably the joke of the matter got lost in translation from idea to comic. I probably also rewrote the joke into oblivion because that's a thing I do.
