To shake or not to shake

[Rob]

Ever since I started this community I find myself more and more inclined to censor myself. Not because I really care all that much what people think of me; but mostly because the blowback every time I say something dumb or provocative can get wearying. And since this site has made me marginally more noticeable in the community the blowback has increased.

Today I was checking my Twitter feed and I saw a number of Tweets from Kris Straub and Scott Kurtz discussing how they are refusing to shake hands at PAX East this week and even Gabe from Penny Arcade got in on the joke by saying something along the lines of "There will be no handshaking at PAX, if you wish to greet someone make your hands into fists and cross your arms in front of your chest."

For those of you not Trek aware this is how Klingons generally greet one another.

Then I read this from Scott's Twitter:

"Annnddd... I've already refused my first handshake. Hope I didn't offend the guy from Rooster Teeth."

Now some of you may think you know how I feel about Scott. But I doubt you get all of it. I've met Scott in person a couple times and in person he is extremely nice and polite. He is funny, talented and a guy I would love to get to know better.

I've only met Kris once but he seems like a very nice, quiet, almost meek sort of guy.

But even the nicest person can come off like a world class a-hole in text communication. The context we lose, facial expressions, tone of voice, hand gesticulations... all of these things really muddy the intended message.

And I sometimes wonder if folks really understand that? Even folks who are so used to dealing with the public like Scott and Kris?

As some of you know, I used to work with the Rooster Teeth guys. When I read that last Tweet I was immediately offended. Much of this no handshake stuff is coming up in light of discussion that the "Norovirus" is making the rounds in Boston. It's spread by food or water or yes, contact contaminated with fecal matter. But it is a very common stomach virus and less than 300 people die from it a year; usually the very old or very young; in other words, not the type of person you might expect to see at a con.

If you check the article I linked you will see that it's actually not that big of a deal. Is it fun to be puking your guts out for a few days no of course not. But isn't risking that somewhat the price we pay for hocking our filthy wares at conventions and courting those hardcore fans?

And the message seems to be, from text communication "I think you might be covered in fecal matter and therefore I choose not to shake hands with you. Hope you don't hold it against me." When I know the real message is more along the lines of "I really don't want to get sick: I'm so tired of getting sick at conventions."

Further Tweets from Kris and Scott on the subject:

"@krisstraub it's not about being a dick! it's about having ONE CON I'm not sick for weeks afterward. find the guy not washing and get mad at him"

"@pvponline @krisstraub what is it withtgia attitude people give us. Were not obligated to shake anyone's fucking hand. #toughshitsforthem"

Yeah that last one didn't help much.

Scott and Kris's fans will no doubt defend the position as one that keeps the object of their fandom healthy and well within their rights (especially if they aren't going to PAX East and won't be one of the people refused a handshake). Folks who are not as fond of them or don't really know their work may indeed be offended. May in fact see this as a real life example of the often referred to reputation Scott has in general and Kris shares through association.

My first reaction was to Tweet something along the lines of "@pvponline and @krisstraub are refusing to shake hands with people at PAX. Let's see how that works out for them.

But I didn't.

A few months ago I certainly would have though. And this made me sort of wonder about a few things and I will pose these questions to you my fellow community members; so you may ponder along with me.

Is an unwillingness to engage flagrant idiocy on the internet because I'm no longer anonymous and am tired of defending myself from the ramparts while my true intentions attempt to escape through hidden tunnels just to avoid being captured; a sign of maturity, weariness, fear of making enemies that will adversely affect my own webcomic aspirations or fear of alienating some of you?

Do you think there should be a double standard for people on the internet who boldly shed their anonymity and take responsibility for their words? Consider this question in light of the fact that most on the internet do not have to take responsibility for their words. Now consider this question in light of the inequities of text based communication. In short, should real folks be cut a bit more slack when they say stupid shit on the internet?

Are we allowed to be offended by the hidden message? I've never been a fan of marketing (nothing personal marketing people I just consider what you do a form of pure evil). But you can learn a lot about the way the world works if you study the lessons marketing has to offer. Often it is not the message you have to watch out for but the implied narrative that comes from the message.

For example: The age old Allstate Insurance mantra "You're in good hands with Allstate."

Sure this says to the consumer "if you do business with us we will take care of you." But it also implies the opposite. In that it also says, "if you aren't with us there is a very good chance you will not be in 'good hands'."

Is refusing to shake my hand because you think I may be contaminated with fecal matter and don't want to get sick something I'm allowed to be offended by? Does it imply that you are clean and I may not be? Does it imply that you are too important to risk ill health by shaking my hand? Does that in turn imply that, since I am willing to shake hands that I am therefore less important?

It seems pretty clear that Scott feels he does not owe the people who come to see him a handshake. What do you think? If I travel a long distance at great expense or even if I live next door; I've spent money to come to PAX to meet with people, buy products and if I'm a fan and I've gone through all that to stand in front of you and share in your creation, do you feel that I'm owed a handshake when I stick out my hand? Is this something that one can owe another person? Is anything at all owed to con goers by those they've come to see and buy from? Is what is owed strictly limited to what is paid for?

And lastly, what does this bode for conventions in general and webcomics specifically? If creators across the board start refusing human contact with their fans and when fans complain assert that the fan is not owed anything how will this affect the way fans see creators and the business they run?

Anyway, rainy day thoughts. I know what my answers are to these questions and I'll happily post them if anyone is interested but being the open minded fellow I am I would actually like to know what some of you think before I etch my thoughts in stone... or font as the case is.  :)

[JGray]

Honestly, shaking hands is over rated. I can visually notice there's not a sword in someone's hand.

Unless it is an invisible sword.

[NoahRodenbeek]

I don't think a handshake is even appropriate in this circumstance.  You approach the table, admit you're obsessed with their comic, pay them for an autograph then move along.  Where does handshake even fit into that formula?  I love cons, I love meeting people that inspire me, but I'm not going to pretend like I'm a unique case.  You rock, you influence my art, here's five bucks, will you please sign this book I just bought?

The Klingon greeting is definitely the way to go if anything.

[LegendWoodsman]

Hey Rob!

Ever since I started this community I find myself more and more inclined to censor myself.

Is an unwillingness to engage flagrant idiocy on the internet because I'm no longer anonymous and am tired of defending myself from the ramparts while my true intentions attempt to escape through hidden tunnels just to avoid being captured; a sign of maturity, weariness, fear of making enemies that will adversely affect my own webcomic aspirations or fear of alienating some of you?

It was a written rule that when you go to a convention for a portfolio review that you are not to speak ill of another creator or title. The rule being that the editor may have worked on the title or is good friends with the creator and a slip of your opinion just put you on the wrong side of an argument. The internet made everything a giant portfolio review.

Regarding handshakes:
To me, the debate is more about empathy. I understand the position of a person who doesn't wish to get ill but I also understand the position of the person who wants to feel acknowledged by the comic creator that they admire. The handshake is a gesture that holds quite a bit of symbolism. If Jim Lee refused to shake my hand, I would be crushed. And if I saw Jim Lee shake Erik Larsen's hand after he refused to shake mine, I would be riled up. I know that I'm no Erik Larsen and Jim Lee does not owe me a handshake... but I still want to be acknowledged.

Besides that, I'm petty and I will hold it against him.  ;D

Possible solutions:

• the fist bump.
• a discreet supply of hand-sanitizer

[NoahRodenbeek]

Possible solutions:

• the fist bump.

Agreed.

[JGray]

Gloves!

[Rob]

Actual they have made a point of mentioning that the Norovirus is unaffected by hand sanitizing products and Gary Tyrell of Fleen offered to bring Scott some gloves. To my knowledge Scott has not replied.

And I think a fist pound is still skin to skin contact. I wouldn't presume to answer for anyone... but I imagine that if you aren't doing handshakes you probably aren't doing hugs, high fives, chest bumps, noogies, playing the old "I've got your nose" trick or fist pounds.

Which makes me wonder how an adherent to this policy would react when some smoking hot cosplay girl in dental floss rolls up and asks you to sign her boobs (as someone who has spent a couple hours hanging out at the Blind Ferret booth I assure you it happens more than you probably think)?

Just more info for ya. And more questions.

[Rob]

I don't think a handshake is even appropriate in this circumstance.  You approach the table, admit you're obsessed with their comic, pay them for an autograph then move along.  Where does handshake even fit into that formula?  I love cons, I love meeting people that inspire me, but I'm not going to pretend like I'm a unique case.  You rock, you influence my art, here's five bucks, will you please sign this book I just bought?

The Klingon greeting is definitely the way to go if anything.

Noah I must congratulate you in that you have achieved a rare feat when it comes to my perception. You are either so sincere or so sarcastic I have no idea what you are actually saying here. I mean it. I'm completely baffled.

You Sir, are an enigma! 8)

[Rob]

It was a written rule that when you go to a convention for a portfolio review that you are not to speak ill of another creator or title. The rule being that the editor may have worked on the title or is good friends with the creator and a slip of your opinion just put you on the wrong side of an argument. The internet made everything a giant portfolio review.

So that's one vote for maturity then? ;D

[JR]

I think that it's always better to avoid needless conflict, especially over the internet.  It's a waste of energy that could be used better in creative ventures, and, like LW said, you don't know who you might offend.

As for the handshaking thing... seriously?  It's common courtesy if someone offers their hand to you that you accept it (unless you don't like them).  They will just end up alienating their fans.  This Norovirus must be some serious crap if it's scared them that much.  In most cases, if you take care of yourself, then you can have as much physical contact as you want with someone who is sick (obviously, there are exceptions... which I guess this virus must be one of them).

[NoahRodenbeek]

I mean it sincerely.  Where does the handshake come into play in the process of the convention meeting?  I think it would feel more natural not to shake hands, and preferable to fist bump or Klingon greet.  Something.  The handshake is like you're meeting with your physician or your boss or something.

Sorry for being enigmatic, I meant to be straight forward.

[amanda]

I think Scott may have been the only person at the first Dallas Webcomic Expo that I did *not* high-five.  That wasn't out of malice - I just didn't have the opportunity to ask.

In any case, I don't feel like people are obligated to shake my hand or anything - but if I extend my hand, I expect to be met in kind - and yeah, I'll be a little insulted if I'm left hanging with no explanation.  If they say, "Oh, I'm not shaking hands for X reason," then it's no big deal.

I just think, in this particular case, the two are saying, "Yeah, we're doing something unorthodox and slightly rude.  Here's our reason. We DARE you to be upset.  Seriously.  We DARE you."

Seems like a silly use of Twitter.

[Miluette]

It's okay to kindly decline handshakes. That was a point in this series of business classes I recently finished taking... apparently no one (read: most people, y'all) in the Fashion biz shakes hands because they're constantly in contact with so many people.

Personally, I don't shove my hands into all my orifices after touching foreign objects/other people, I never get sick, and I always have hand sanitizer around...so I always accept handshakes. Though unless I'm SOOPER EXCITED I'm not likely to initiate one. I think it'd feel awkward at a con, anyway.

Anyway, one shouldn't get all up in arms about HANDSHAKES. Refusing to meet your eye or brushing you off completely, THAT'S upsetting. If someone doesn't want to shake your hand, but otherwise seems cool, it's probably health concerns. Shouldn't let your personal insecurities come into it, if you have them.

[LegendWoodsman]

Shouldn't let your personal insecurities come into it, if you have them.

If I didn't have my insecurities, I'd have nothing to write about.  ;)

[Alectric]

From their posts, it sounds as though they have gotten sick from cons several times already.  If that is indeed the case, then I think their decision is certainly justified.  And if they want to risk putting off fans, then that's their choice.

I also think that the Internet is no excuse to be a dick.  If you were offended, then by all means hold them accountable, lower your opinion of them, call them out on it, etc.  Or, you know, be the bigger man and just let it go.  Showing decency and self control on the Internet is something to be proud of, not questioned. ;)