Filthy McNasty's and the Funky Pickle
Page One
Panel 1 – Inside a pub, the crowd is all smiles and laughter.
NARRATION
I had a birthday once.
Panel 2 – A group of grubby musician-types are gathered at the corner of the bar involved in their conversations, drinks in hand. There is Anthony, a short dark man with long dark hair and a sturdy brow; Idris, a large black man with thick glasses and long dreadlocks tucked under a knit tam; Lee, a tall thin white man with long hair in a pony tail and a van dyke; Merilee, a boisterous white woman with blonde hair and large breasts; Daryn, a short white man with Jesus hair and beard; a thin white couple who are involved in their own conversation; and Gibson, a stocky white man with wide shoulders, a thick goatee and short-shaved hair.
NARRATION
Friends gathered for a trip to the pub, alcohol was consumed, including several rounds of absinthe bought for the birthday boy. All was right with the world.
Panel 3 – Gibson is talking animatedly to Idris and Anthony.
NARRATION
Idris and Anthony, two old friends from back home that I’d met out of nowhere here in the faraway frontier city. Anthony had sat next to me at a bar one day, Idris and I found each other on a subway platform.
Panel 4 – Lee and Merilee are seated on stools at the bar, talking to each other but not ignoring the others.
NARRATION
Lee and Merilee, two new friends I’d met when I was a fresh face in their world, and who, it turned out, knew the old friends from far away. Coincidence, Fate’s simple little brother.
Panel 5 – Daryn and Gibson lean against the bar, Daryn makes a gesture with his hand that Gibson studies.
NARRATION
Daryn, my roommate that I’d met through the others. A self-described polyamorist, I don’t think he ever had sex while I knew him.
Page Two
Panel 1 – Daryn is keeping his distance from the thin couple, who seem to be arguing.
NARRATION
And two weird hippies, her from Switzerland and him from Australia, whose names I never cared enough to remember. They were passing through town on some hippy migration, perhaps to lay their eggs somewhere.
Panel 2 – Gibson looks out of the corner of his eye, over his shoulder at the hippy pair who look around obliviously.
NARRATION
I did wonder how they came to meet from across the world, but if they ever told the story I had stopped paying attention before I heard it.
Panel 3 – The hippy guy is about to come to fisticuffs with a jock in a baseball hat that reads ‘Give ‘er!’ The hippy chick is behind them, yelling at the top of her lungs.
NARRATION
We were mildly interested in them until a local bonehead decided the Swede girl was attractive and the Aussie man had to show the world how big he was.
Panel 4 – The others in the group are waving and blowing kisses as they walk through the door.
NARRATION
That was when we decided that Outside was where we really wanted to be.
Page Three
Panel 1 – In the street, Idris, Anthony and Gibson are heading one way, Lee and Merilee are headed another and Daryn is headed a third. They wave goodbye to the other groups as they go.
NARRATION
The group began to break up and head their way home for the night. Idris and Anthony, who were already high on hallucinogens, opted to stick it out with me and find a dark corner of the world to smoke a joint.
Panel 2 – Anthony and Gibson look on in wonderment as Idris holds a camera over his head triumphantly.
NARRATION
On the way, Idris found a camera sitting pristinely on top of a snow bank and gave it to me for a birthday gift.
Panel 3 – An ugly kid in hockey gear standing on the ice inside a small hockey arena.
NARRATION
Later, I would develop the photos and find pictures of an ugly kid in hockey gear. I felt like I had done the parents a favour by decreasing their number of photos of him.
Panel 4 – Arm in arm, Idris, Anthony and Gibson are singing happily. Idris has a bottle of Golden Wedding whisky in his hand, Anthony has a burning joint in his hand, and Gibson is carrying the camera.
NARRATION
We drank a small bottle of whisky sneaked along the way, singing its name over and over as we puffed the joint.
Page Four
Panel 1 – Gibson looks on, smiling as Idris and Anthony are both tossing psilocybic mushrooms into their gleeful mouths.
NARRATION
Idris and Anthony split the rest of the mushrooms before Anthony too left for home.
Panel 2 – The silhouettes of Idris and Gibson bounce cartoonishly to a pizza joint whose sign reads ‘Hipster Trash Pizza Joint’ with the line underneath it ‘Our name is cool, so we must be too!’
NARRATION
That’s how Idris came to be peaking when we stumbled over to the pizza shop.
Panel 3 – Gibson eats a slice of pizza as he watches Idris shouting with a big smile on his face at the cute, slightly frightened looking young girls working the pizza counter.
NARRATION
Idris being a ladies’ man began flirting with the girls behind the counter, but Idris also being a man tripping on mushrooms, was unaware that he was yelling at full volume.
Panel 4 – Gibson laughs hysterically.
NARRATION
I don’t remember anything else from that night, but holy god was that funny.
